Who am I?
"My name is Ned I do not like my little bed. This is no good this is not right. My feet stick out of bed all night and when I pull them in, oh dear, my head sticks out of bed up here"-Dr. Seuss- One fish, two fish, red fish, Blue fish
Okay, so my name isn't Ned, it's Bridget. And I'm not a character in a Dr. Seuss book, even though having a toddler and infant sometimes makes me feel that way(you know, extra hairy and talking nonsensically to myself all day).
I love to read, and write. I'm probably addicted to chocolate. And baking. Baking is a major form of therapy for me. I'm a bit of a hippie and minimalist. I just like to keep things simple. As in, home births cloth diapers, ecological breastfeeding, recycling, constantly donating all the extra stuff that is accumulating as I type, composting, gardening ( but my husband gets all the credit for keeping plants alive) and I think you get the picture. I love nature and summer, but I'm not friends with the winter. I'm impatient. I am a perfectionist that loves order. And I have a hard time giving things up to God; I like pretending to be in control. Purple is my favorite color...
and more importantly...
I'm a Catholic wife and stay at home mother of two (so far). I'm the youngest of 9 and I love my big family. I always thought I'd like to have at least a half dozen kids myself. I've been taking care of babies since I can remember, but being mommy has added a completely different level of Love, exhaustion, stress, and Joy. It's a constant struggle to focus on the Joy, but when I do I'm rewarded tenfold.
I think I've always known motherhood was my calling. I mean, I dreamed of being a popstar when I was 7 and briefly considered becoming a nun in my preteen years when boys were gross, and then seriously considered creative writing or journalism and social work in high school, but there was always the understanding that I'd be taking care of my own kids one day. I had a bit of an epiphany near graduation that confirmed Motherhood as my primary calling.
It was a really simple moment. I was sitting in the floor painting and two of my nephews, about 3 years old at the time, came into the room and wanted to join me. So, I got out more brushes and together we painted. There was a simple peace that filled me and in that moment I realized "this right here is what I'm going to be doing with my life." Up until this point I had felt a lot of stress worrying about the future, but in that moment I got a glimpse of what was to come. Even though I didn't have it all figured out, I knew things would be okay.
I also knew, then, that I was going to marry Mike, my boyfriend then and now husband. We've known each other now for almost 9 years, have been a couple for nearly 8 , and married for almost 3. We had what I would call a long engagement and it was less than fun for my impatient self, but definitely the best decision for us. It gave us time to really build our communication and grow in so many ways. On the practical side, it gave us time to save money for our house and pay off debt and let Mike finish school.
Mike is the most patient person I know. We are opposites in so many ways but where it matters, faith and family. He is my hero in so many ways. He reminds me who I really am.
And by that I mean he draws me closer to Christ.
I have a tendency to forget that my identity is not tied up in all the things listed above. They are parts of me, and certainly important, but ultimately what is most important is that I am a daughter of the King. I am a temple of the Holy Spirit, and I have Christ in me. My mind is not able to fully comprehend this, but I believe it nonetheless.
So, even though I often feel like this :
I am reminded that God has called me by name; and I am his. He has called me to this mission that is marriage and motherhood. And it is a great blessing. I am who He says I am.